Hello Sonya,
I seem to be sad each and every Valentine holiday because, I'm either just braking up from a relationship or I'm single yet again for another romantic holiday. Sonya, I'm just not sure what I can do to help myself feel better and what I need to do to keep from feeling so sorry for myself. Signed: Lonely Heart, Bridgewater, NJ

Hello Lonely Heart, Thank you so much for this question. I know there are so many that share your exact sentiments. The one thing that I've noticed in my career and working with individuals, is that most feel that Valentines Day seems to be one of the hardest holiday's for someone to be single or just not have that special someone to spend time with. More people seem to get depressed at this time but, here are somethings you can do to help yourself move past this:

Love Remedy for Broken-Hearts:  
1, Love Yourself: Prior to being in any kind of relationship, you must love yourself and feel your own self-worth. No man nor woman is more important than you having love for you. Meaning you have to be satisfied within your own-self, know what you want from a relationship, what you will not except and how you want to be loved. Once you have those factors down you have one more VERY important fact *You need to know that your value doesn't come from the person that you are in a relationship with.

2. Date You: Fine so you don't have that special someone to shower you with gifts, and all the other little things that you think you need at this time. Plan a fabulous SPA  day for yourself or send yourself a special little gift just for being fabulous and accomplishing whatever little thing you've done within this few months. Being able to enjoy Y.O.U. is very important and dating you won't cause you any kind of heartache. 

3. Girl Power: Trust me there are a few of your girlfriends that are going through the exact same thing. Why not support each other and have a girlfriend lunch or dinner date?  Get dressed to the 9's and then exchange gifts with each other, celebrate each other for being strong, educated, motivated wonderful women and don't let anything or anyone rain on this celebration.

4. Refine: You may need to see why you seem to be alone each Valentine holiday. Do you put too much pressure on your mate? Do you expect too much from the person you are with? Are you bringing negative energy into your relationship? You must refine whatever you are doing that is causing your boyfriend's to flee. Another thing is with guy's they tend to breakup with a woman just before Valentines day if, they aren't really into the relationship; this way they don't have to say the LOVE word or buy a gift. You have to make sure you're dating quality and that this person is on the same page as you and if not don't stick in there just for the holiday.

Lonely Heart, I cannot encourage you enough to not sit and feel sorry for yourself. This will on bring on more depression and cause you to feel even worse than what you really should. Celebrate you as a woman and don't be sorry for being strong and independent. More women should look at themselves as full-packages then someones plus one.

Wishing you continued happiness in EVERYTHING!!
XOXOXO!
Sonya LaRae-Certified Lifestyles Coach

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Hello Sonya,
I have a teenager (13) who seems to dress very provocative. Bad thing is her body is very developed and she is a sweet girl but, I hate how she dresses. Sonya, what can I do to help her dress more age appropriate?
Signed: TK-Dublin, Ireland

Hello TK, thank you so much for this question. I cannot begin to tell you how often I see and hear this complaint. You know TK, the thing is that most of these young people that are dressing in such a way that is too mature, too provocative or overly sexy is due to them having a poor self-image or the wrong image due to what they are seeing in the magazines, media and entertainment. There also seems to be a misconception around middle and high school young girls, that less is more sexy and, its becoming more of and excepted style trend. The one thing that most of these young girls don't see is, the bigger picture, which is that looking and dressing in such away will only bring negative attention their way. With this being stated how do you fix this issue? I have a few tips that I want to give you and some real talk as well.

1. Power of Positivity: You need to sit down one on one with your daughter, and tell her why dressing so sexy isn't a good thing and why she CANNOT dress in this manner. You need to watch your tone and not be condescending even though she looks like the local streetwalker. You have to also realize that she is trying to find her identify and you as her mother will be able to help her to mold her style. 

2. Identify Her Personal Style: You can purchase some of the top fashion magazines and look at what she likes style wise. Once she has shown you what she likes, mind you most of the things she points out will not be age appropriate. You now have the chance to help in redefining that particular look by, making subtle changes to bring that particular style into her age bracket. Do not waiver when it comes to things that aren't appropriate for her age. She has time to dress sexier as she get older but, with the right direction and mentoring, she'll be able to make sound style choices throughout her life. Here is a very important point: Don't make her feel as if she is some little kid because, you want her to receive what you are saying in a positive light.

3. Be Patient: Remember that your teen daughter will have objections as well as needing time to get used to your selections, major changes and revamping of her personal style/image. Do not pressure her and say things like "You have no choice or It's my way or no way" this is just closing the door to your relationship and to having a positive effect on her style and change.

TK, I want to speak with you very honestly and candid. Your daughter is currently only 13 years of age, and with this being stated, she doesn't have a job nor does she have her own money. Meaning you are still in control of what she is bringing into your home and putting on her body. As her mother; you are responsible for her and you have taken the easy way out by stating she is choosing and dressing too provocative.  TK, your daughter knows that you aren't going to check her(put her in her place) and she also knows that you are very lenient when the clothing comes into the house(you've not taken a solid stand and put your foot down, that by any means will you have this type of clothing in your home or on her). TK, the best way to handle any future issues is to address it head on and not act like you didn't notice or, that you are approving of poor choices or behaviors. TK, your daughter is young enough that you can change and help her have a better self-image and you can help her to know that what she sees in the media, movies and TV isn't how life nor how you want her life to be objectified by men. TK, it is so dangerous out her and your daughter has time to do the things that she is dreaming but, if you don't handle this matter quickly and correctly she may fall into the trap, that so many young girls find themselves in; which is older men praying on young girls. 
Once again I thank you for this question and I wish you well in helping your daughter except herself as a beautiful, smart and intelligent young lady. I look forward to hearing your feedback and please remember, you have the power to mold her choices.

XOXOX!
Sonya LaRae-Certified Lifestyles Coach


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Hello Sonya,
I'm 38 years old and I'm about to separate from my husband of 7 years. We're not divorcing but, we feel like we need to take a moment and re-evaluate our relationship. In the meantime, while we are apart I'm interested in reinventing myself and just bringing a better me to the table. Can you give me a few pointers?
Thank you, Signed Clarity-New York, NY

Hello Clarity, Thank you so much for sending in your question. You know so many times we as individuals need to step back and reassess where we are in our lives. Which brings you to the point of reinventing yourself and is it wise or a good thing to do? Reinvention is something that is good and can be beneficial for us as women. Here are a few tips to help you in your reinvention process:

1. Stop and Think: You need to sit down and write out exactly what you want to accomplish. You need to see what you'd like to have more of in your life and, what you want less of in your life. Meaning if you want to have more you time, you need to plan out how you want to take that time for yourself. Maybe you say you don't want that stress in your life, what do you need to eliminate so; that your stress level comes down and how can you cope with things that may arise. Having a good plan in place is a great beginning to the reinvention process 

2. Don't Sit and Wait: Meaning  don't say you want to change or reinvent yourself and then do nothing. You have to be proactive in your reinvention and, you must not sit and say well I'll start tomorrow. Remember the old adage "Never put off what you can do today for tomorrow." Procrastination is the poison that will lead to failure

3. Makeovers Don't Cost Much: Don't think you have to break the bank to reinvent your look or your style. Think about going to second time around stores because, they have some of the most fabulous things that are name brand and gently used if at all. You want to go to outlets they offer some of the latest styles and at a reasonable price. Don't forget to go for the bang for your bucks!!

4. Get Support: Many times your friends and family may feel it's not necessary for you to do this. Don't allow this to derail your reinvention. You have to keep focused and its not about them its about you. You need to have support so get with a mentor, coach, audio books or something that will keep you on track. The more support you have the better success you will have.

Clarity, its about you keeping your focus and doing what is good for you. I love that you want to reinvent yourself and that you see the need to do what is or, maybe good for yourself and the life of your marriage. If you all do decide to get back together and it may just spice up the relationship or if you chose to move on, you'll be ready to receive whatever new opportunity that maybe coming your way .

I look forward to hearing your feedback and I wish you so much success in your transformation/reinvention!

XOXOXO!
Sonya LaRae-Certified Lifestyle Coach

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Hello Sonya,
I'm 22 years of age, have a very good job, and I don't live at home any longer but my mother is so overbearing and over the top. She expects me to call her every single day to let her know I'm home and if I don't come home at my normal time she's all over me and to top off everything, I've been seeing a guy for about 2 weeks and I haven't told her about him as of yet. I went out to dinner with this new guy and I guess one of her noise friends was at the restaurant and went back and told my mother she saw me out with a very nice looking young man. Sonya, now my mother is demanding to meet him and because I said no, she shows up every single Friday and waits. How do I handle such a relationship and person as she is?
Signed: Over Ruled-Cleveland, Ohio


Dear Over-Ruled, let me say thank you for such a great question. I know that this can be very overwhelming trying to keep the proper respect for your parent and them,  having the healthy proper respect for you as and adult is very important. Having a very controlling parent can feel like you're living each day in a 2 x 4 box and can give you unwanted and unwarranted stress. In this day and age we don't need any more stress than what we are dealing with on a day to day basis so, with this being said we need to help you take steps in lighting this burden that you're currently under with your mother.

Over-Ruled, many times and overbearing parent feels they are protecting you, and they may or may not even realize how they are making you feel because, this has become a pattern and a habit. I want to give you a few tips to try and see if maybe they can help you in regards to this issue:

1. Have and honest heart to heart: You many need to sit your mother down and let her know exactly what she is doing and how it makes you feel. Be calm, don't become argumentative, try not to raise your voice when she is not getting the point. Really listen to your mothers' responses and when she is speaking don't interrupt let her finish her point and then address them appropriately. 

2. Recognize your Adulthood: Meaning you must stop acting as if you're still that young girl under your mothers care and looking for her approval. You must stop feeding into the idea that if you don't go along with your mother she will be hurt. You need to let her know there are boundaries that she must keep and meet in your relationship for her to respect you as the mature adult you've become.

3. Set boundaries: While you have her undivided attention this is the perfect time for you to set boundaries. You need to let her know what you are comfortable with her knowing and not know. Prime example: you will let her know if and when your relationship with this person is serious enough for her to meet him and only at that time will you introduce them.

4. You don't appreciate spies : Tell your mother you do not appreciate her friends nor her spying on you. From her camping out in your living-room every Friday, to her girls calling and telling they see you out on dates and not even having the decency to come and speak to you. Let her know by no means will this be and excepted and if her girlfriends do call and say they see you out, you'd appreciate her calling you and not camping out at your home. Over-Ruled you have to STOP feeling as if you owe the chatting circuit and explanation to your life. 

My finale suggestion is if you don't feel you can speak with her regarding this matter because, you don't want the over reaction or you feel you may not express yourself in and effective manner, you may consider writing her a nice letter. Take your time with this letter so, that you come off clear and not emotional. You want her to hear the mature adult you are and how you'd loved to have a healthy adult relationship with her. You want her to realize treating you as if you are still a child under her roof isn't going to bring you nor her closer and it will only alienate you from her and your life which wouldn't benefit either of you.

Over-Ruled, this can be a very difficult topic and it also may take your mother a moment to adjust to this NEW way of thinking and acting. Don't forget for most of your life this woman "Mom" has cared for you and loved you with every fiber of her being. Her not knowing something about you may feel like she is loosing you but, it's helping her to learn healthy boundaries which will promote a healthy and loving relationship.

I hope this helps you out some and I'm wishing you all the best!! 
XOXOXO!!
Sonya LaRae- Certified Lifestyle Coach


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Hi Sonya,
After a terrible period of substance misuse in my twenties, I wish to work in the personal development field. I feel I know so much and could prevent many youngsters going down the same path as I did. How am I to go about getting into the business, as here in Scotland there are no counselling courses. I have a degree in Social Science, but, I think I need more. I'd welcome any advice
Warmest wishes and Regards, L. Glasgow, Scotland

Hello L, Thank you so much for this question- It's truly admirable that you've worked so hard to beat your addiction, and now, wanting to reach back and help others that are struggling is amazing!  L., I can only speak on the requirements that are need here in the US to become a Drug/Substance Abuse Counselor, I'm honestly not sure what requirements are need in Scotland. This is truly a rewarding job and very time consuming so, you first need to make sure that you are emotionally, physically, confidentially and spiritually ready to be fully-invested in such a demanding career. 

L., here in the US drug counselors/substance counselor are required to get the proper licenses and degrees. We have the following services that can be checked but, I'm not sure if it would be the same for Glasgow:

*Checking website for the American Counseling Association and the Association of Social Work Board 
* Calling your local Certification Board for Addiction Professionals
* Check and see if requirements are the same for drug abuse counseling as for substance abuse counseling requirements
* Getting a Bachelors degree in relevant fields i.e. nursing, rehabilitation services, social work or psychology

The other thing I could suggest to you L. is to call local rehabilitation centers' such as, Castle Craig Hospital 0808 149 6997 speak with someone that may be able to walk you through the process. You can also see if they are looking for volunteers to come in and speak with ones and share their personal journeys that can motivate and help others. 

L., again please let me say how admirable this is of you and I hope this has helped you some. Please let me know how you make out and I'm wishing you Continued Success in Everything!!

XOXOXO!!
Sonya LaRae- Certified Lifestyle Coach

Would you like to ask me a question? Please feel free to complete the contact form located her on Whispers in a Bottle or simply e-mail me at: [email protected]

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Hello Sonya,
I've been divorced for about 2 years because, my husband cheated on me and, I find myself still unable to forgive my husband. How can I forgive and move forward?
Signed: Diane-New Orleans, LA


Diane, thank you so much for this question-You would not believe how many people men and women a like, are going through this exact same thing. I know you must be hurt because, this is the worst kind of betrayal that can happen between mates. Diane, first I see you still refer to your ex; as you husband, which also shows me you still have feelings for him contrary to what you may say or tell others. When you've been divorced for 2 years and you still cannot use the "EX" word says, that you haven't started to deal with your feelings yet. Diane, forgiving a cheater by far isn't easy and you have to give yourself time to heal and to process exactly what has taken place. Everything that you knew and had is gone, the person that you thought you'd grow old with and travel the world with is now like the "Enemy."  You'll have to try a few things that will help you start to move into the forgiveness realm and the biggest part of letting go.


Diane, let's start by looking at a few tips that you can start trying:
1. Decide if you should forgive the cheater: If you have a child its a good idea to try and forgive because, you must think of your child(rens) well being. This is when you must put aside all the anger and wrath because, now you both need to nurture your child and let them know that no matter what, they ARE NOT the problem nor the issue. If you do not have children then it becomes a factor of do you need to forgive this person because, you all have business ties or maybe just to give you the freedom to move forward in your life. This is strictly your choice and no one and I mean NO one can tell you to forgive or not to forgive.


2. Give yourself time: Time is your friend- Let me say this again, T.I.M.E. IS YOUR FRIEND!! No matter how long or short its been if you still have a lot of anger, you need to deal with your emotions first. Your mental/emotional health is always the priority. By allowing yourself time to process this can help in forgiving and in the healing process. 

3. Don't blame yourself: This really seems like a no-brainer but, so many take on the blame, feels as if you're not attractive or what could I've done differently. Pointblank your significant other cheated and that's his fault. Nothing you did or didn't do was warranted or gave him/her permission to betray your vows. I don't care if you wasn't always the best but, neither was he, and you didn't cheat on him you valued what you all had. Take this burden off of yourself, don't make yourself a martyr that will only kill your spirit and will only place doubt into your mind, heart and next relationship. You owe this to yourself and by putting the blame where it needs to be will keep you moving forward. 

4. Be honest: This means speak your feelings say I'm hurt and you betrayed everything I thought I knew about you and what I thought your values where. I don't appreciate what you've done to us and it's going to take me a moment to come back from this. When you speak your honest feelings it allows you to hear yourself and hear that you're not the person who needs to apologize. The cheater wants you to brush it off so they don't have to honestly deal with the hurt they've caused. They want to forget that they destroyed everything that you all built and the best way to do this is to try and act as if nothing took place. Its totally on them and you being honest will make that person have to take on accountability.

Diane, I know at this time it feels as if you'll never be able to forgive and move on but, once you deal with your emotions and feelings you'll see, forgiveness will become easier and easier each day.  i hope I've helped you a little and please, I look forward to hearing your feedback.


Do you have a question you'd like to ask me? Please feel free to either complete the form her on the site or simply email me at: [email protected] 


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DISCLAIMER STATEMENT: Whispers in a Bottle is dedicated to helping you with your everyday situations. The information in these post/articles are for personal and entertainment use and, all decisions are your own. Where as Sonya LaRae, Whispers in a Bottle, Lapazimageing Fashion Forward and LaPaz Image/Event Consultants  will not be held accountable for any such actions you take.

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Hello Sonya,
My life has been about building/developing my career and moving up the corporate ladder.  Now, I'm a new mom and having great difficulty striking a balance. It makes me feel so guilty can you help me even the scales?
Signed: Molly- Hawaii


Hello Molly, Thank you for a great question! I know exactly how you feel trying to strike that happy medium between the two, and just feeling like you're coming up just a hair short on both sides of the table. Molly, so many women are facing this exact same issue everyday, so please don't feel as if you're alone in the great balance game.  To balance work and family, means to give yourself equally to both areas of your life but, the biggest trick is not neglecting one over the other and, trust me this is much easier said then done.

Here are a few areas that you'll need to establish:
1. Establish your priorities:  Many feel both work and family are extremely important, you have to decide what takes more precedence when both take up time and energy.  The trick here is to determine at the time which is more pressing. Example: Your child is very sick and you need to go to work-Should you stay home or go to work? You should stay home and take care of your child because, this is the more pressing factor and needs your full-attention. The job should never take lead over the well-being of your family no matter how important your job or career. Nothing is more important then the safety and health of your family.

2. Create your families goals and establish deadlines:  Many times at work you set goals establish deadlines but, in your day to day family life you tend to just go on auto-pilot or fly by the seat of your pants;  and then you find yourself and your family not accomplishing too much of anything. YOU MUST establish real goals for your family because, things move very quickly and before you know it; things you planned or promised have passed and nothing, still gets done or promises you made never take place. When you establish real goals and deadlines you'll see how smooth things will start to go within your family. Set deadlines so each person knows exactly what is expected, who is going to be doing what and at what time.  You also may need to allow a little more flexibility then what you would at work, due to age of children, your mate's schedule and other factors that are in your life. Don't be afraid to make concessions and rework plans.

3. Set-up and revise your schedule/calendar: This will greatly benefit your family, because many times your career my consume a lot of your time and energy.  You'll need to make up things due to the pressing matters at work. Make sure that these moments of  imbalance are compensated accordingly, so that you regain your family and career balance as soon as possible. If you have to take time away from the family because of deadlines, priorities that can not be revised remember to readjust the families established goals and deadline to help release the stress you're under.

Molly, no matter what you must have "time management" to be able to have the best of both worlds. Don't be too hard on yourself if you come up short on both sides of the table. You'll also need to schedule that YOU time so you can rejuvenate yourself and be of benefit to your family, job and most importantly YOURSELF!! Try keeping a journal to help you keep track of the accomplishments/goals and strides that you're making. I'm wishing you much success in striking a happy balance in your career and family.


I look forward to hearing your feedback and if you have questions that you'd like me to address, please feel free to email me at [email protected]


XOXOXO!!
Sonya LaRae- Certified Lifestyle Coach

This article is property of LaPaz Image/Event Consultants and copyrights of WhispersinaBottle.weebly.com © 2013. It is prohibited by law to copy, add or release this information without signed authorization of the so said company herein listed in this article under the laws of The United States and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Copyright Infringement Laws 

DISCLAIMER STATEMENT: Whispers in a Bottle is dedicated to helping you with you everyday situations. The information in these post/articles are for personal and entertainment use and, all decisions are your own. Where as Sonya LaRae, Whispers in a Bottle, Lapazimageing Fashion Forward and LaPaz Image/Event Consultants  will not be held accountable for any such actions you take.

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Hi Sonya,
I am a single happy female and every time I turn my mother, friends, grandmother and yes even my aunts; are on me to get married and have babies.  Sonya, how do I tell them I'm happily single and if I decide that I want to have a baby I can adopt or go the "frozen" pop route?
Signed: No hurry to baby up- British Columbia


Hello No Hurry,
Thank you for your question- This is and age old debate that has gone on for centuries believe it or not. I have so many friends, clients and family members that go through this exact same scenario day in and day out. It's funny family members and friends think they're being helpful but, in all honesty its undue pressure that they are heaping onto a person. Baby up, many times our families viewpoint stems from old world beliefs; that a woman is to settle down get married have babies and live the happily ever after. Now a days not so much, women are more career oriented, self-sufficient and darn good providers if I may say so myself. A lot of women don't want to "settle" they want to have the Mr. Right not the Mr. Right Now, where 2 years into the relationship (aka) marriage they're seeking a divorce or trying to stick it out for the sake of the kids.  

Here is the tricky part how do you get them to see things from your viewpoint? NEWS BREAKER: They will never get the point because, they want you to be happy and happiness in their eyes is you being married and strapped with children!! You have to stop buying into the pressure and let them know that no matter what, you're going to do you, and doing "you" right at this point and juncture in your life doesn't consist of a marriage mate nor 2.5 kids, nor the picket fence.  Yes your mother will be devastated at first but, when she sees how stable and strong you are regarding this matter she will back you and get your grandmother, aunts and friends behind your plan.  You have to handle this matter with great maturity and not allow your emotions to run the conversation when it get's to the breaking point, don't always feel you have to entertain the conversation or explain yourself a hundred times.


Being happily single is better than being unhappily married and under dourest day in and day out.  Keep your senses about you and once you choose your life course then you can let them be privy to things.   

No Hurry to Baby up, I hope this helps you and please write me again!

Would you like to ask me a question? Please feel free to email me at: [email protected] 


XOXOXO!
Sonya LaRae-Certified Lifestyle Coach


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Hello Sonya,
I currently feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place.  I really want to stop being friends with someone I've known and have been friends with for a little of three and half years. Sonya, she's such a Debbie Downer, negative,seems like she's a little jealous when it comes to things I'm doing and accomplishing and to top everything off; she even makes "Jokes" at my expense and says she's just joking. How do I break up with a so called friend?
Signed: One Friend Down, Cleveland, OH


Hello One Friend Down,
I want to thank you for this question- I have to tell you the old adage comes into play "All good things must come to and end." This is sometimes the case with "good" friends or supposed good friends. We all grow at different stages and points in our lives but, moving forward can be difficult. One Friend Down, breaking up with a close friend is much like breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend; you know someone is going to get hurt and that there may be feeling that will not be able to be prepared. This can be very challenging so here are a few tips to try and follow:

1. Gradually- By gradually backing away will allow not only yourself to adjust, it will help your friend also adjust


2. Don't give False hope- Meaning don't be a wave floating in and out; don't pretend that you're trying to nurture the friendship. Don't make plans that you know you have no intentions of fulling or showing up for. Canceling at the last minuet isn't going to help your situation at all, its just going to keep things going and in the long run cause hard feelings.


3. Don't be so Available- I'm sorry this is one thing that can really help in separating you from that friend. If they call your phone don't be so quick to take the call the less you speak with a person the further you drift apart.


4. Tell the truth- Look you may need to just be honest with the person but, please do it privately- No one likes to be embarrassed or have their feelings crushed publicly. Don't be afraid to act like the adult in this matter, even if the person starts to act out publicly you take control and let them know you'll speak with them once they calm down and you all can sit and speak  one on one.


5. Be willing to hear them- Your friend may want to say something and be open to hearing them. Hearing them means you don't cut them off while they're trying to express themselves because, their feelings are just as valid as your feeling.


Lastly and I personally feel this is a very important fact: Do Not Discuss with others- Putting the bad mouth on your ex-friend is a no-no. Just explain to outsiders who may want to just know the little details that you all have gone in different directions and leave it at that. Remember, you don't owe anyone and explanation regarding matters and you want to still show the respect for that ex-friend no matter how bad the relationship was. Let others make up their own mind regarding this person and their relationship with this person.


One Friend Down, I hope this has helped you and that you'll try to be sensitive to your soon to be ex-friend and don't feel that you have to continue a friendship if its not healthy. 


I look forward to hearing the feedback from you and others and keep your questions coming!


xoxox!!
Sonya LaRae-Certified Lifestyle Coach


Would you like to submit a question to me? Email me at [email protected]


This article is property of LaPaz Image/Event Consultants and copyrights of WhispersinaBottle.weebly.com © 2013. It is prohibited by law to copy, add or release this information without signed authorization of the so said company herein listed in this article under the laws of The United States and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Copyright Infringement Laws 

DISCLAIMER STATEMENT: Whispers in a Bottle is dedicated to helping you with you everyday situations. The information in these post/articles are for personal and entertainment use and, all decisions are your own. Where as Sonya LaRae, Whispers in a Bottle, Lapazimageing Fashion Forward and LaPaz Image/Event Consultants  will not be held accountable for any such actions you take.