 Hi Sonya,I am a single happy female and every time I turn my mother, friends, grandmother and yes even my aunts; are on me to get married and have babies. Sonya, how do I tell them I'm happily single and if I decide that I want to have a baby I can adopt or go the "frozen" pop route?Signed: No hurry to baby up- British ColumbiaHello No Hurry,Thank you for your question- This is and age old debate that has gone on for centuries believe it or not. I have so many friends, clients and family members that go through this exact same scenario day in and day out. It's funny family members and friends think they're being helpful but, in all honesty its undue pressure that they are heaping onto a person. Baby up, many times our families viewpoint stems from old world beliefs; that a woman is to settle down get married have babies and live the happily ever after. Now a days not so much, women are more career oriented, self-sufficient and darn good providers if I may say so myself. A lot of women don't want to "settle" they want to have the Mr. Right not the Mr. Right Now, where 2 years into the relationship (aka) marriage they're seeking a divorce or trying to stick it out for the sake of the kids. Here is the tricky part how do you get them to see things from your viewpoint? NEWS BREAKER: They will never get the point because, they want you to be happy and happiness in their eyes is you being married and strapped with children!! You have to stop buying into the pressure and let them know that no matter what, you're going to do you, and doing "you" right at this point and juncture in your life doesn't consist of a marriage mate nor 2.5 kids, nor the picket fence. Yes your mother will be devastated at first but, when she sees how stable and strong you are regarding this matter she will back you and get your grandmother, aunts and friends behind your plan. You have to handle this matter with great maturity and not allow your emotions to run the conversation when it get's to the breaking point, don't always feel you have to entertain the conversation or explain yourself a hundred times.Being happily single is better than being unhappily married and under dourest day in and day out. Keep your senses about you and once you choose your life course then you can let them be privy to things. No Hurry to Baby up, I hope this helps you and please write me again!Would you like to ask me a question? Please feel free to email me at: [email protected] XOXOXO!Sonya LaRae-Certified Lifestyle CoachThis article is property of LaPaz Image/Event Consultants and copyrights of WhispersinaBottle.weebly.com © 2013. It is prohibited by law to copy, add or release this information without signed authorization of the so said company herein listed in this article under the laws of The United States and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Copyright Infringement Laws
 DISCLAIMER STATEMENT: Whispers in a Bottle is dedicated to helping you with you everyday situations. The information in these post/articles are for personal and entertainment use and, all decisions are your own. Where as Sonya LaRae, Whispers in a Bottle, Lapazimageing Fashion Forward and LaPaz Image/Event Consultants will not be held accountable for any such actions you take.
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 Hello Sonya,I currently feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. I really want to stop being friends with someone I've known and have been friends with for a little of three and half years. Sonya, she's such a Debbie Downer, negative,seems like she's a little jealous when it comes to things I'm doing and accomplishing and to top everything off; she even makes "Jokes" at my expense and says she's just joking. How do I break up with a so called friend?Signed: One Friend Down, Cleveland, OHHello One Friend Down,I want to thank you for this question- I have to tell you the old adage comes into play "All good things must come to and end." This is sometimes the case with "good" friends or supposed good friends. We all grow at different stages and points in our lives but, moving forward can be difficult. One Friend Down, breaking up with a close friend is much like breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend; you know someone is going to get hurt and that there may be feeling that will not be able to be prepared. This can be very challenging so here are a few tips to try and follow:1. Gradually- By gradually backing away will allow not only yourself to adjust, it will help your friend also adjust2. Don't give False hope- Meaning don't be a wave floating in and out; don't pretend that you're trying to nurture the friendship. Don't make plans that you know you have no intentions of fulling or showing up for. Canceling at the last minuet isn't going to help your situation at all, its just going to keep things going and in the long run cause hard feelings.3. Don't be so Available- I'm sorry this is one thing that can really help in separating you from that friend. If they call your phone don't be so quick to take the call the less you speak with a person the further you drift apart.4. Tell the truth- Look you may need to just be honest with the person but, please do it privately- No one likes to be embarrassed or have their feelings crushed publicly. Don't be afraid to act like the adult in this matter, even if the person starts to act out publicly you take control and let them know you'll speak with them once they calm down and you all can sit and speak one on one.5. Be willing to hear them- Your friend may want to say something and be open to hearing them. Hearing them means you don't cut them off while they're trying to express themselves because, their feelings are just as valid as your feeling.Lastly and I personally feel this is a very important fact: Do Not Discuss with others- Putting the bad mouth on your ex-friend is a no-no. Just explain to outsiders who may want to just know the little details that you all have gone in different directions and leave it at that. Remember, you don't owe anyone and explanation regarding matters and you want to still show the respect for that ex-friend no matter how bad the relationship was. Let others make up their own mind regarding this person and their relationship with this person.One Friend Down, I hope this has helped you and that you'll try to be sensitive to your soon to be ex-friend and don't feel that you have to continue a friendship if its not healthy. I look forward to hearing the feedback from you and others and keep your questions coming!xoxox!!Sonya LaRae-Certified Lifestyle CoachWould you like to submit a question to me? Email me at [email protected]This article is property of LaPaz Image/Event Consultants and copyrights of WhispersinaBottle.weebly.com © 2013. It is prohibited by law to copy, add or release this information without signed authorization of the so said company herein listed in this article under the laws of The United States and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Copyright Infringement Laws
 DISCLAIMER STATEMENT: Whispers in a Bottle is dedicated to helping you with you everyday situations. The information in these post/articles are for personal and entertainment use and, all decisions are your own. Where as Sonya LaRae, Whispers in a Bottle, Lapazimageing Fashion Forward and LaPaz Image/Event Consultants will not be held accountable for any such actions you take.
 Hello Sonya,I have a very important question to ask and this may seem odd but, I've been married for several years and prior to getting married; myself and my husband really sat down and talked about a little bit of everything. The biggest conversation we had was about children, we agreed we didn't want children and that we would travel and just enjoy each other. Well needless to say I want to have a baby and my mate is totally not trying to hear this from me. This has caused us to have several arguments and him saying I broke our agreement. Sonya, what is your take on this?Signed: Yearning Baby, Boston, MAHello Yearning, first let me state I really appreciate you writing into me and asking your question. I have to tell you this has been a long standing issue and so many times I hear of clients having this argument and even at times marriages breaking up or resentment takes a foot hold. Yearning, having children is an extremely important issue and both of you need to feel good and ready for the responsibility. This is important for both of you and for the well being of the child or children. A child can and will feel when a parent is ambivalent or does not want them. These types of issues can and will scare a child and can cause major developmental issues. A child is very perceptive they pick up on our language with each other and can and will reenact bad behaviors. With this being stated prior to you just stop taking your birth-control or keep tension going within your marriage, you need to sit down and really think about the verbal contract you and your mate made. Is this a good time for both of you to start a new family? Can you all afford it at this time? Did you and your husband have real plans prior to you feeling the biological clock tic? Are you just reacting emotionally and not seriously looking at all what you will need to give up and sacrifice for the well being of your child? I hate to tell you this but, many times issues like this can cause resentment and once this monster has a little foothold or rears its head; it can just keep growing until it keeps getting bigger and bigger. I don't know if this helps you with such a major decision but, this is food for thought- You went into your marriage with a clear understanding and yes things can change and we make some concessions in our lives for our mates but; there are a few things that can be deal breakers.I look forward to answering more of your questions!XOXO!Sonya LaRae-Certified Lifestyle CoachTo submit your question(s) please email them to me at: [email protected] This article is property of LaPaz Image/Event Consultants and copyrights of WhispersinaBottle.weebly.com © 2013. It is prohibited by law to copy, add or release this information without signed authorization of the so said company herein listed in this article under the laws of The United States and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Copyright Infringement Laws
 DISCLAIMER STATEMENT: Whispers in a Bottle is dedicated to helping you with you everyday situations. The information in these post/articles are for personal and entertainment use and, all decisions are your own. Where as Sonya LaRae, Whispers in a Bottle, Lapazimageing Fashion Forward and LaPaz Image/Event Consultants will not be held accountable for any such actions you take.
 Thank you for joining me here on Whispers in a Bottle. I'm looking forward to answering as many questions and covering several different topics. Today I received a letter from: Ex-Cuses, New York, NY: I've been apart from my ex for a little over 7 months but; whenever we feel we need someone we seem to come together and sleep with each other. Do you think this is okay or am I opening myself for more problems? Thank you so much for this question, and I know it's hard to separate yourself sometimes from someone you have had a meaningful and long term relationship with. With this being stated I have to tell you that you're opening up a can of worms in more than one way. I've had clients tell me its just sex but; when it comes to them moving forward be it the ex or themselves they find it very difficult because; more feelings and emotions are attached. Having sex with an ex can happen for several reasons, some of the most common reasons are: * The desire to feel connected to someone familiar * An attempt to manipulate the other person into getting back together * Having control over the other person * Trying to boost self-esteem * A need to feel loved and wanted Even though the above reasons can have some validity, it still blurs the boundaries, delays the healing process of letting go or moving on. By continuing to sleep with your ex it keeps a false sense of hope, and keeps you entrenched in a relationship that ended for good reasons. Now, with this being stated let me just say; I find that when you're honest with each other on the reasons why you want to continue to sleep with each other, you may find out that the reasons are totally different for each of you and with this being stated you may just bow out and realize moving on is a much better way for you to go. No matter what you decide you have to make sure that you both have a clear understanding and that you're not opening the door to more heartache. I look forward to answering more of your questions! XOXO! Sonya LaRae-Certified Lifestyle Coach To submit a question please feel free to email: [email protected]This article is property of LaPaz Image/Event Consultants and copyrights of WhispersinaBottle.weebly.com © 2013. It is prohibited by law to copy, add or release this information without signed authorization of the so said company herein listed in this article under the laws of The United States and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Copyright Infringement Laws
 DISCLAIMER STATEMENT: Whispers in a Bottle is dedicated to helping you with you everyday situations. The information in these post/articles are for personal and entertainment use and, all decisions are your own. Where as Sonya LaRae, Whispers in a Bottle, Lapazimageing Fashion Forward and LaPaz Image/Event Consultants will not be held accountable for any such actions you take.
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