Hello Sonya,
I currently feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. I really want to stop being friends with someone I've known and have been friends with for a little of three and half years. Sonya, she's such a Debbie Downer, negative,seems like she's a little jealous when it comes to things I'm doing and accomplishing and to top everything off; she even makes "Jokes" at my expense and says she's just joking. How do I break up with a so called friend?
Signed: One Friend Down, Cleveland, OH
Hello One Friend Down,
I want to thank you for this question- I have to tell you the old adage comes into play "All good things must come to and end." This is sometimes the case with "good" friends or supposed good friends. We all grow at different stages and points in our lives but, moving forward can be difficult. One Friend Down, breaking up with a close friend is much like breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend; you know someone is going to get hurt and that there may be feeling that will not be able to be prepared. This can be very challenging so here are a few tips to try and follow:
1. Gradually- By gradually backing away will allow not only yourself to adjust, it will help your friend also adjust
2. Don't give False hope- Meaning don't be a wave floating in and out; don't pretend that you're trying to nurture the friendship. Don't make plans that you know you have no intentions of fulling or showing up for. Canceling at the last minuet isn't going to help your situation at all, its just going to keep things going and in the long run cause hard feelings.
3. Don't be so Available- I'm sorry this is one thing that can really help in separating you from that friend. If they call your phone don't be so quick to take the call the less you speak with a person the further you drift apart.
4. Tell the truth- Look you may need to just be honest with the person but, please do it privately- No one likes to be embarrassed or have their feelings crushed publicly. Don't be afraid to act like the adult in this matter, even if the person starts to act out publicly you take control and let them know you'll speak with them once they calm down and you all can sit and speak one on one.
5. Be willing to hear them- Your friend may want to say something and be open to hearing them. Hearing them means you don't cut them off while they're trying to express themselves because, their feelings are just as valid as your feeling.
Lastly and I personally feel this is a very important fact: Do Not Discuss with others- Putting the bad mouth on your ex-friend is a no-no. Just explain to outsiders who may want to just know the little details that you all have gone in different directions and leave it at that. Remember, you don't owe anyone and explanation regarding matters and you want to still show the respect for that ex-friend no matter how bad the relationship was. Let others make up their own mind regarding this person and their relationship with this person.
One Friend Down, I hope this has helped you and that you'll try to be sensitive to your soon to be ex-friend and don't feel that you have to continue a friendship if its not healthy.
I look forward to hearing the feedback from you and others and keep your questions coming!
xoxox!!
Sonya LaRae-Certified Lifestyle Coach
Would you like to submit a question to me? Email me at [email protected]
This article is property of LaPaz Image/Event Consultants and copyrights of WhispersinaBottle.weebly.com © 2013. It is prohibited by law to copy, add or release this information without signed authorization of the so said company herein listed in this article under the laws of The United States and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Copyright Infringement Laws
I currently feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. I really want to stop being friends with someone I've known and have been friends with for a little of three and half years. Sonya, she's such a Debbie Downer, negative,seems like she's a little jealous when it comes to things I'm doing and accomplishing and to top everything off; she even makes "Jokes" at my expense and says she's just joking. How do I break up with a so called friend?
Signed: One Friend Down, Cleveland, OH
Hello One Friend Down,
I want to thank you for this question- I have to tell you the old adage comes into play "All good things must come to and end." This is sometimes the case with "good" friends or supposed good friends. We all grow at different stages and points in our lives but, moving forward can be difficult. One Friend Down, breaking up with a close friend is much like breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend; you know someone is going to get hurt and that there may be feeling that will not be able to be prepared. This can be very challenging so here are a few tips to try and follow:
1. Gradually- By gradually backing away will allow not only yourself to adjust, it will help your friend also adjust
2. Don't give False hope- Meaning don't be a wave floating in and out; don't pretend that you're trying to nurture the friendship. Don't make plans that you know you have no intentions of fulling or showing up for. Canceling at the last minuet isn't going to help your situation at all, its just going to keep things going and in the long run cause hard feelings.
3. Don't be so Available- I'm sorry this is one thing that can really help in separating you from that friend. If they call your phone don't be so quick to take the call the less you speak with a person the further you drift apart.
4. Tell the truth- Look you may need to just be honest with the person but, please do it privately- No one likes to be embarrassed or have their feelings crushed publicly. Don't be afraid to act like the adult in this matter, even if the person starts to act out publicly you take control and let them know you'll speak with them once they calm down and you all can sit and speak one on one.
5. Be willing to hear them- Your friend may want to say something and be open to hearing them. Hearing them means you don't cut them off while they're trying to express themselves because, their feelings are just as valid as your feeling.
Lastly and I personally feel this is a very important fact: Do Not Discuss with others- Putting the bad mouth on your ex-friend is a no-no. Just explain to outsiders who may want to just know the little details that you all have gone in different directions and leave it at that. Remember, you don't owe anyone and explanation regarding matters and you want to still show the respect for that ex-friend no matter how bad the relationship was. Let others make up their own mind regarding this person and their relationship with this person.
One Friend Down, I hope this has helped you and that you'll try to be sensitive to your soon to be ex-friend and don't feel that you have to continue a friendship if its not healthy.
I look forward to hearing the feedback from you and others and keep your questions coming!
xoxox!!
Sonya LaRae-Certified Lifestyle Coach
Would you like to submit a question to me? Email me at [email protected]
This article is property of LaPaz Image/Event Consultants and copyrights of WhispersinaBottle.weebly.com © 2013. It is prohibited by law to copy, add or release this information without signed authorization of the so said company herein listed in this article under the laws of The United States and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Copyright Infringement Laws
DISCLAIMER STATEMENT: Whispers in a Bottle is dedicated to helping you with you everyday situations. The information in these post/articles are for personal and entertainment use and, all decisions are your own. Where as Sonya LaRae, Whispers in a Bottle, Lapazimageing Fashion Forward and LaPaz Image/Event Consultants will not be held accountable for any such actions you take.
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