Hello Sonya,
I seem to be sad each and every Valentine holiday because, I'm either just braking up from a relationship or I'm single yet again for another romantic holiday. Sonya, I'm just not sure what I can do to help myself feel better and what I need to do to keep from feeling so sorry for myself. Signed: Lonely Heart, Bridgewater, NJ

Hello Lonely Heart, Thank you so much for this question. I know there are so many that share your exact sentiments. The one thing that I've noticed in my career and working with individuals, is that most feel that Valentines Day seems to be one of the hardest holiday's for someone to be single or just not have that special someone to spend time with. More people seem to get depressed at this time but, here are somethings you can do to help yourself move past this:

Love Remedy for Broken-Hearts:  
1, Love Yourself: Prior to being in any kind of relationship, you must love yourself and feel your own self-worth. No man nor woman is more important than you having love for you. Meaning you have to be satisfied within your own-self, know what you want from a relationship, what you will not except and how you want to be loved. Once you have those factors down you have one more VERY important fact *You need to know that your value doesn't come from the person that you are in a relationship with.

2. Date You: Fine so you don't have that special someone to shower you with gifts, and all the other little things that you think you need at this time. Plan a fabulous SPA  day for yourself or send yourself a special little gift just for being fabulous and accomplishing whatever little thing you've done within this few months. Being able to enjoy Y.O.U. is very important and dating you won't cause you any kind of heartache. 

3. Girl Power: Trust me there are a few of your girlfriends that are going through the exact same thing. Why not support each other and have a girlfriend lunch or dinner date?  Get dressed to the 9's and then exchange gifts with each other, celebrate each other for being strong, educated, motivated wonderful women and don't let anything or anyone rain on this celebration.

4. Refine: You may need to see why you seem to be alone each Valentine holiday. Do you put too much pressure on your mate? Do you expect too much from the person you are with? Are you bringing negative energy into your relationship? You must refine whatever you are doing that is causing your boyfriend's to flee. Another thing is with guy's they tend to breakup with a woman just before Valentines day if, they aren't really into the relationship; this way they don't have to say the LOVE word or buy a gift. You have to make sure you're dating quality and that this person is on the same page as you and if not don't stick in there just for the holiday.

Lonely Heart, I cannot encourage you enough to not sit and feel sorry for yourself. This will on bring on more depression and cause you to feel even worse than what you really should. Celebrate you as a woman and don't be sorry for being strong and independent. More women should look at themselves as full-packages then someones plus one.

Wishing you continued happiness in EVERYTHING!!
XOXOXO!
Sonya LaRae-Certified Lifestyles Coach

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DISCLAIMER STATEMENT: Whispers in a Bottle is dedicated to helping you with your everyday situations. The information in these post/articles are for personal and entertainment use and, all decisions are your own. Where as Sonya LaRae, Whispers in a Bottle, Lapazimageing Fashion Forward and LaPaz Image/Event Consultants  will not be held accountable for any such actions you take.

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Hello Sonya,
I'm 38 years old and I'm about to separate from my husband of 7 years. We're not divorcing but, we feel like we need to take a moment and re-evaluate our relationship. In the meantime, while we are apart I'm interested in reinventing myself and just bringing a better me to the table. Can you give me a few pointers?
Thank you, Signed Clarity-New York, NY

Hello Clarity, Thank you so much for sending in your question. You know so many times we as individuals need to step back and reassess where we are in our lives. Which brings you to the point of reinventing yourself and is it wise or a good thing to do? Reinvention is something that is good and can be beneficial for us as women. Here are a few tips to help you in your reinvention process:

1. Stop and Think: You need to sit down and write out exactly what you want to accomplish. You need to see what you'd like to have more of in your life and, what you want less of in your life. Meaning if you want to have more you time, you need to plan out how you want to take that time for yourself. Maybe you say you don't want that stress in your life, what do you need to eliminate so; that your stress level comes down and how can you cope with things that may arise. Having a good plan in place is a great beginning to the reinvention process 

2. Don't Sit and Wait: Meaning  don't say you want to change or reinvent yourself and then do nothing. You have to be proactive in your reinvention and, you must not sit and say well I'll start tomorrow. Remember the old adage "Never put off what you can do today for tomorrow." Procrastination is the poison that will lead to failure

3. Makeovers Don't Cost Much: Don't think you have to break the bank to reinvent your look or your style. Think about going to second time around stores because, they have some of the most fabulous things that are name brand and gently used if at all. You want to go to outlets they offer some of the latest styles and at a reasonable price. Don't forget to go for the bang for your bucks!!

4. Get Support: Many times your friends and family may feel it's not necessary for you to do this. Don't allow this to derail your reinvention. You have to keep focused and its not about them its about you. You need to have support so get with a mentor, coach, audio books or something that will keep you on track. The more support you have the better success you will have.

Clarity, its about you keeping your focus and doing what is good for you. I love that you want to reinvent yourself and that you see the need to do what is or, maybe good for yourself and the life of your marriage. If you all do decide to get back together and it may just spice up the relationship or if you chose to move on, you'll be ready to receive whatever new opportunity that maybe coming your way .

I look forward to hearing your feedback and I wish you so much success in your transformation/reinvention!

XOXOXO!
Sonya LaRae-Certified Lifestyle Coach

This article is property of LaPaz Image/Event Consultants and copyrights of WhispersinaBottle.weebly.com © 2013. It is prohibited by law to copy, add or release this information without signed authorization of the so said company herein listed in this article under the laws of The United States and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Copyright Infringement Laws

DISCLAIMER STATEMENT: Whispers in a Bottle is dedicated to helping you with your everyday situations. The information in these post/articles are for personal and entertainment use and, all decisions are your own. Where as Sonya LaRae, Whispers in a Bottle, Lapazimageing Fashion Forward and LaPaz Image/Event Consultants  will not be held accountable for any such actions you take.

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Hello Sonya,
My life has been about building/developing my career and moving up the corporate ladder.  Now, I'm a new mom and having great difficulty striking a balance. It makes me feel so guilty can you help me even the scales?
Signed: Molly- Hawaii


Hello Molly, Thank you for a great question! I know exactly how you feel trying to strike that happy medium between the two, and just feeling like you're coming up just a hair short on both sides of the table. Molly, so many women are facing this exact same issue everyday, so please don't feel as if you're alone in the great balance game.  To balance work and family, means to give yourself equally to both areas of your life but, the biggest trick is not neglecting one over the other and, trust me this is much easier said then done.

Here are a few areas that you'll need to establish:
1. Establish your priorities:  Many feel both work and family are extremely important, you have to decide what takes more precedence when both take up time and energy.  The trick here is to determine at the time which is more pressing. Example: Your child is very sick and you need to go to work-Should you stay home or go to work? You should stay home and take care of your child because, this is the more pressing factor and needs your full-attention. The job should never take lead over the well-being of your family no matter how important your job or career. Nothing is more important then the safety and health of your family.

2. Create your families goals and establish deadlines:  Many times at work you set goals establish deadlines but, in your day to day family life you tend to just go on auto-pilot or fly by the seat of your pants;  and then you find yourself and your family not accomplishing too much of anything. YOU MUST establish real goals for your family because, things move very quickly and before you know it; things you planned or promised have passed and nothing, still gets done or promises you made never take place. When you establish real goals and deadlines you'll see how smooth things will start to go within your family. Set deadlines so each person knows exactly what is expected, who is going to be doing what and at what time.  You also may need to allow a little more flexibility then what you would at work, due to age of children, your mate's schedule and other factors that are in your life. Don't be afraid to make concessions and rework plans.

3. Set-up and revise your schedule/calendar: This will greatly benefit your family, because many times your career my consume a lot of your time and energy.  You'll need to make up things due to the pressing matters at work. Make sure that these moments of  imbalance are compensated accordingly, so that you regain your family and career balance as soon as possible. If you have to take time away from the family because of deadlines, priorities that can not be revised remember to readjust the families established goals and deadline to help release the stress you're under.

Molly, no matter what you must have "time management" to be able to have the best of both worlds. Don't be too hard on yourself if you come up short on both sides of the table. You'll also need to schedule that YOU time so you can rejuvenate yourself and be of benefit to your family, job and most importantly YOURSELF!! Try keeping a journal to help you keep track of the accomplishments/goals and strides that you're making. I'm wishing you much success in striking a happy balance in your career and family.


I look forward to hearing your feedback and if you have questions that you'd like me to address, please feel free to email me at [email protected]


XOXOXO!!
Sonya LaRae- Certified Lifestyle Coach

This article is property of LaPaz Image/Event Consultants and copyrights of WhispersinaBottle.weebly.com © 2013. It is prohibited by law to copy, add or release this information without signed authorization of the so said company herein listed in this article under the laws of The United States and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Copyright Infringement Laws 

DISCLAIMER STATEMENT: Whispers in a Bottle is dedicated to helping you with you everyday situations. The information in these post/articles are for personal and entertainment use and, all decisions are your own. Where as Sonya LaRae, Whispers in a Bottle, Lapazimageing Fashion Forward and LaPaz Image/Event Consultants  will not be held accountable for any such actions you take.

Photographs Used In Article: Google.com and LaPaz Image/Event Consultants 

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Hi Sonya,
I am a single happy female and every time I turn my mother, friends, grandmother and yes even my aunts; are on me to get married and have babies.  Sonya, how do I tell them I'm happily single and if I decide that I want to have a baby I can adopt or go the "frozen" pop route?
Signed: No hurry to baby up- British Columbia


Hello No Hurry,
Thank you for your question- This is and age old debate that has gone on for centuries believe it or not. I have so many friends, clients and family members that go through this exact same scenario day in and day out. It's funny family members and friends think they're being helpful but, in all honesty its undue pressure that they are heaping onto a person. Baby up, many times our families viewpoint stems from old world beliefs; that a woman is to settle down get married have babies and live the happily ever after. Now a days not so much, women are more career oriented, self-sufficient and darn good providers if I may say so myself. A lot of women don't want to "settle" they want to have the Mr. Right not the Mr. Right Now, where 2 years into the relationship (aka) marriage they're seeking a divorce or trying to stick it out for the sake of the kids.  

Here is the tricky part how do you get them to see things from your viewpoint? NEWS BREAKER: They will never get the point because, they want you to be happy and happiness in their eyes is you being married and strapped with children!! You have to stop buying into the pressure and let them know that no matter what, you're going to do you, and doing "you" right at this point and juncture in your life doesn't consist of a marriage mate nor 2.5 kids, nor the picket fence.  Yes your mother will be devastated at first but, when she sees how stable and strong you are regarding this matter she will back you and get your grandmother, aunts and friends behind your plan.  You have to handle this matter with great maturity and not allow your emotions to run the conversation when it get's to the breaking point, don't always feel you have to entertain the conversation or explain yourself a hundred times.


Being happily single is better than being unhappily married and under dourest day in and day out.  Keep your senses about you and once you choose your life course then you can let them be privy to things.   

No Hurry to Baby up, I hope this helps you and please write me again!

Would you like to ask me a question? Please feel free to email me at: [email protected] 


XOXOXO!
Sonya LaRae-Certified Lifestyle Coach


This article is property of LaPaz Image/Event Consultants and copyrights of WhispersinaBottle.weebly.com © 2013. It is prohibited by law to copy, add or release this information without signed authorization of the so said company herein listed in this article under the laws of The United States and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Copyright Infringement Laws    

DISCLAIMER STATEMENT: Whispers in a Bottle is dedicated to helping you with you everyday situations. The information in these post/articles are for personal and entertainment use and, all decisions are your own. Where as Sonya LaRae, Whispers in a Bottle, Lapazimageing Fashion Forward and LaPaz Image/Event Consultants  will not be held accountable for any such actions you take.


Photographs Used In Article: Google.com and LaPaz Image/Event Consultants 

Join our sister site Lapazimageing Fashion Forward http://www.lapazimageingfashion.blogspot.com 

Hello Sonya,
I currently feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place.  I really want to stop being friends with someone I've known and have been friends with for a little of three and half years. Sonya, she's such a Debbie Downer, negative,seems like she's a little jealous when it comes to things I'm doing and accomplishing and to top everything off; she even makes "Jokes" at my expense and says she's just joking. How do I break up with a so called friend?
Signed: One Friend Down, Cleveland, OH


Hello One Friend Down,
I want to thank you for this question- I have to tell you the old adage comes into play "All good things must come to and end." This is sometimes the case with "good" friends or supposed good friends. We all grow at different stages and points in our lives but, moving forward can be difficult. One Friend Down, breaking up with a close friend is much like breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend; you know someone is going to get hurt and that there may be feeling that will not be able to be prepared. This can be very challenging so here are a few tips to try and follow:

1. Gradually- By gradually backing away will allow not only yourself to adjust, it will help your friend also adjust


2. Don't give False hope- Meaning don't be a wave floating in and out; don't pretend that you're trying to nurture the friendship. Don't make plans that you know you have no intentions of fulling or showing up for. Canceling at the last minuet isn't going to help your situation at all, its just going to keep things going and in the long run cause hard feelings.


3. Don't be so Available- I'm sorry this is one thing that can really help in separating you from that friend. If they call your phone don't be so quick to take the call the less you speak with a person the further you drift apart.


4. Tell the truth- Look you may need to just be honest with the person but, please do it privately- No one likes to be embarrassed or have their feelings crushed publicly. Don't be afraid to act like the adult in this matter, even if the person starts to act out publicly you take control and let them know you'll speak with them once they calm down and you all can sit and speak  one on one.


5. Be willing to hear them- Your friend may want to say something and be open to hearing them. Hearing them means you don't cut them off while they're trying to express themselves because, their feelings are just as valid as your feeling.


Lastly and I personally feel this is a very important fact: Do Not Discuss with others- Putting the bad mouth on your ex-friend is a no-no. Just explain to outsiders who may want to just know the little details that you all have gone in different directions and leave it at that. Remember, you don't owe anyone and explanation regarding matters and you want to still show the respect for that ex-friend no matter how bad the relationship was. Let others make up their own mind regarding this person and their relationship with this person.


One Friend Down, I hope this has helped you and that you'll try to be sensitive to your soon to be ex-friend and don't feel that you have to continue a friendship if its not healthy. 


I look forward to hearing the feedback from you and others and keep your questions coming!


xoxox!!
Sonya LaRae-Certified Lifestyle Coach


Would you like to submit a question to me? Email me at [email protected]


This article is property of LaPaz Image/Event Consultants and copyrights of WhispersinaBottle.weebly.com © 2013. It is prohibited by law to copy, add or release this information without signed authorization of the so said company herein listed in this article under the laws of The United States and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Copyright Infringement Laws 

DISCLAIMER STATEMENT: Whispers in a Bottle is dedicated to helping you with you everyday situations. The information in these post/articles are for personal and entertainment use and, all decisions are your own. Where as Sonya LaRae, Whispers in a Bottle, Lapazimageing Fashion Forward and LaPaz Image/Event Consultants  will not be held accountable for any such actions you take.