Hello Sonya,
I have a very important question to ask and this may seem odd but, I've been married for several years and prior to getting married; myself and my husband really sat down and talked about a little bit of everything. The biggest conversation we had was about children, we agreed we didn't want children and that we would travel and just enjoy each other. Well needless to say I want to have a baby and my mate is totally not trying to hear this from me. This has caused us to have several arguments and him saying I broke our agreement. Sonya, what is your take on this?
Signed: Yearning Baby, Boston, MA
Hello Yearning, first let me state I really appreciate you writing into me and asking your question. I have to tell you this has been a long standing issue and so many times I hear of clients having this argument and even at times marriages breaking up or resentment takes a foot hold. Yearning, having children is an extremely important issue and both of you need to feel good and ready for the responsibility. This is important for both of you and for the well being of the child or children.
A child can and will feel when a parent is ambivalent or does not want them. These types of issues can and will scare a child and can cause major developmental issues. A child is very perceptive they pick up on our language with each other and can and will reenact bad behaviors. With this being stated prior to you just stop taking your birth-control or keep tension going within your marriage, you need to sit down and really think about the verbal contract you and your mate made. Is this a good time for both of you to start a new family? Can you all afford it at this time? Did you and your husband have real plans prior to you feeling the biological clock tic? Are you just reacting emotionally and not seriously looking at all what you will need to give up and sacrifice for the well being of your child? I hate to tell you this but, many times issues like this can cause resentment and once this monster has a little foothold or rears its head; it can just keep growing until it keeps getting bigger and bigger. I don't know if this helps you with such a major decision but, this is food for thought- You went into your marriage with a clear understanding and yes things can change and we make some concessions in our lives for our mates but; there are a few things that can be deal breakers.
I look forward to answering more of your questions!
XOXO!
Sonya LaRae-Certified Lifestyle Coach
To submit your question(s) please email them to me at: [email protected]
This article is property of LaPaz Image/Event Consultants and copyrights of WhispersinaBottle.weebly.com © 2013. It is prohibited by law to copy, add or release this information without signed authorization of the so said company herein listed in this article under the laws of The United States and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Copyright Infringement Laws
I have a very important question to ask and this may seem odd but, I've been married for several years and prior to getting married; myself and my husband really sat down and talked about a little bit of everything. The biggest conversation we had was about children, we agreed we didn't want children and that we would travel and just enjoy each other. Well needless to say I want to have a baby and my mate is totally not trying to hear this from me. This has caused us to have several arguments and him saying I broke our agreement. Sonya, what is your take on this?
Signed: Yearning Baby, Boston, MA
Hello Yearning, first let me state I really appreciate you writing into me and asking your question. I have to tell you this has been a long standing issue and so many times I hear of clients having this argument and even at times marriages breaking up or resentment takes a foot hold. Yearning, having children is an extremely important issue and both of you need to feel good and ready for the responsibility. This is important for both of you and for the well being of the child or children.
A child can and will feel when a parent is ambivalent or does not want them. These types of issues can and will scare a child and can cause major developmental issues. A child is very perceptive they pick up on our language with each other and can and will reenact bad behaviors. With this being stated prior to you just stop taking your birth-control or keep tension going within your marriage, you need to sit down and really think about the verbal contract you and your mate made. Is this a good time for both of you to start a new family? Can you all afford it at this time? Did you and your husband have real plans prior to you feeling the biological clock tic? Are you just reacting emotionally and not seriously looking at all what you will need to give up and sacrifice for the well being of your child? I hate to tell you this but, many times issues like this can cause resentment and once this monster has a little foothold or rears its head; it can just keep growing until it keeps getting bigger and bigger. I don't know if this helps you with such a major decision but, this is food for thought- You went into your marriage with a clear understanding and yes things can change and we make some concessions in our lives for our mates but; there are a few things that can be deal breakers.
I look forward to answering more of your questions!
XOXO!
Sonya LaRae-Certified Lifestyle Coach
To submit your question(s) please email them to me at: [email protected]
This article is property of LaPaz Image/Event Consultants and copyrights of WhispersinaBottle.weebly.com © 2013. It is prohibited by law to copy, add or release this information without signed authorization of the so said company herein listed in this article under the laws of The United States and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Copyright Infringement Laws
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